Tara & Huck

Emme knew I was pregnant even before my husband!  My trusty doula once told me she’s the first call many birth workers in the Twin Cities make after they get a positive test result, as she is so highly respected around here.  So, that’s what I did, test positive & e-mail Emme.  This was my fifth pregnancy and I came to the table with a lot of baggage – mostly resolved trauma from what my husband and I considered an unnecessary emergency cesarean under general anesthesia (2nd birth), really raw emotions and unresolved trauma from the stillbirth of our 4th baby (just five months earlier) and an estranged relationship with my own mother.

After the most amazing, redemptive VBAC water birth experience at birth center (3rd birth), I was pretty certain I wanted a home birth.  I used to think a birth center birth was “safer” than a homebirth but through my experience I realized there’s no difference in safety, the only difference is location, and with that came so many benefits to being in my home!!  Actually, now that I think of it, I had two licensed midwives (and a rockstar intern) at my home birth, whereas most birth center births only have one. My husband is the most supportive man I know, and was on board initially because of my interest, but over the course of a few appointments with Emme, he was convinced this was the best route for us.

We welcomed our baby boy to the world the day before the state of Minnesota shut down due to the novel coronavirus.  The speed at which things changed in the weeks leading up to his birth was lightning-fast.  We navigated so many unknowns together with Emme and Grace.  Everyone was figuring out how to birth in this pandemic, and what was true the day before was no longer. 

Team Trillium shined so bright in the face of uncertainty and adversity.  They provided all the physical and emotional support my husband, baby and I needed through their client-centered model of care. Emme always made time for us and my endless list of questions (how a mom going through her 5th pregnancy has so many questions, I still don’t understand).  We loved the intentional time she spent with us at each of our appointments.  She was always on time and most times would spend an hour with us, compared to the maybe seven minutes I used to get with my OB after waiting 30+ minutes to get in with her because she was running late.  We built a really strong relationship with her and it was so comforting to know that she would be the one attending my birth vs. whoever happened to be on call that night. She partnered offline with my doula when needed to ensure everyone was on the same page. The team arrived for our birth quickly and effortlessly, and they calmly prepared the space for the miracle that was soon to take place.  It wasn’t more than a few rounds of contractions and everyone had assumed their place and was ready to go. 

One of the things I love about Emme and Grace is how they were just there; they didn’t make a big presence and only stepped in when necessary. It was about me and my baby. 

We weren’t on a doctor’s schedule or awaiting a shift change of nurses.  We were all gathered together in my bedroom and it would remain that way until baby arrived. 

Eventually we met our son, and less than ten minutes later we were all tucked into our bed snuggled up together.  Midwives, especially Emme and Grace, are skilled in so many areas beyond prenatal care and catching babies.  Once our son was in my arms, they were just getting started.  From all the newborn care, which was never rushed, to engaging with and including our three older kids in what was going on, to cleaning up and having our home looking better than it did before they arrived – they did it all.  

I never feel more vulnerable than I do in the hours and days after birth, and it’s at those times I most desire to be mothered. Grace, mothered me like my heart longed for.  I have vivid memories of her on her knees toweling me off after I got out of the shower, and wiping up blood on the floor after my first postpartum trip to the bathroom. There is something so beautiful about these ladies’ presence that made me feel totally cared for.  They are some of the humblest, servant-hearted ladies in the industry.  When it was time for them to go, I didn’t want them to leave and if I could have, I would have kept them here with me for hours!  I so looked forward to all my postpartum visits with them, it felt like being at home around them (lucky me, most of the visits were at home).  They were available in between visits to answer questions about concerns we had with my son’s infrequent bowel movements. And they were the ones to crack the code at my 7-week appointment on why he was so fussy and irritable.

After five babies God has made our family complete. But boy, I sure would love to relive our homebirth experience with Emme and Grace!!